Or t his lady in Kenya, who was proposed to and eventually married two men, after telling them both that she was unable to choose, which of the two she wanted to stop sleeping with. And then there is Karrine “Superhead” Steffans, who can’t seem to not get a husband. In fact, her fiance Kanye West admits to having to “wait through a bunch of relationships to finally get my chance” to say, Will You Marry Me to the woman of his obsession. Just ask Kim Khardashian, who got a ring and for damn certain, wasn’t celibate. Odds are that your match will be someone, who identifies with you exactly the way you are and in spite of how many guys you have done in the past – even if that past was just last week. You don’t have to run through an obstacle course or crack some secret and cryptic code. I’m also a believer that there is no special hat trick to getting a ring from The ONE. I mean for real, if virginity – or being a born again virgin – was really the bonding gift that folks preach it to be then explain to me how women in even the most conservatively religious-based conservative cultures find themselves on the receiving end of domestic abuse from their husbands?

It is this cognitive dissonance that explains why folks need to have real comprehensive sex and relationship education, especially one that exist out of the archaic and patriarchy framework of religion and slore-shaming. And they are getting busy in the mouth, in the anus and without protection – so not to violate their covenants with God. What that suggests is despite the religious indoctrination, which promotes purity particularly for women, folks are still getting busy behind The Church and all of its doctrine’s back. And often times, those two seemingly separate communities have a tendency to overlap. And as a community while we are certainly the most religious and conservatives in our beliefs around sexuality, we are also the most overly infectious.

Like it or not, 93 percent of people in this country have sex before tying the knot. For certain, once-practicing celibacy has been very lucrative for them, but spearheading it as some sort of relationship answer is wrongheaded and extremely misguided.įor one, I’m a believer that there needs to be a more realistic – and non religious based balance – to how we talk about sex and relationships, particularly in the black community and more specifically, black women. Personally if celibacy makes you feel whole as a woman and a human being then do you, girlfriend (and boyfriend too)! But more to the point, I’m also not feeling this celibacy racket, which the Good-Franklin have been promoting as of late through interviews, speaking engagements and now through a book. Those who read my previous piece now that I am indifferent to celibacy – and I’m definitely not fond at all of long term celibacy, particularly the kind that has you waiting in upwards of eight years for The ONE.

Meagan good and devon franklin the wait